Masturbation (or chewing time, if desired) is a great way to relax, treat yourself, learn more about your sexuality and, yes, improve your sex life in general. It is perhaps the most important sex you have (without pressure). And yet, once you find a masturbators that work for you, it is too easy to fall into a routine where each individual session is exactly the same. There is nothing wrong with having a reliable movement up your sleeve at a crucial time but changing the way you show yourself a little love. Here, sex experts and educators give their best advice to make the most of their time alone.
Masturbating not only increases your confidence and your personal pleasure, but learning what you do and do not like on your own makes it easier for you to enjoy and, in fact, go out with a partner. If you’ve never had luck with a solo session, remember nobody benefits after a trip to the gym. The more you do it, the more you will learn about yourself and the better it will feel, says Emily Morse, sex therapist and presenter of the Sex with Emily podcast. “Think of it as homework, except that the final exam is much more fun.”
Yes, like sex toys and vibrations, but also things you already have in your home. Are you lucky enough to shower with a removable head? Use the water pressure to stimulate your clitoris (or simply slide down in your bathtub and let the spray above do the same). Or, if you have a little extra money to spend, invest in a dildo with a suction accessory, hit it on a chair and use the deepest penetration to strengthen your orgasms alone.
You don’t need to be in a long-distance relationship to have sex on the phone or sexting. If your misty routine needs an update, a good way to mix some new movements is to ask a partner to tell you exactly what to do. It is a sexy way to bond and a sexy way to see what you and your partner like.
Do you know how you get excited when you wear lingerie? The same feeling is applied when setting up a mirror so that you can see it carried with yourself. Try one of the four movements that women reportedly love in their clitoris: up and down, circular, side by side and rapid (pulsating) thrust, according to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. Move your fingers in one of these four directions and try what suits you best, or combine two movements simultaneously to perform ultra-fun multitasking.
Well, part of the reason is a bit depressing. “Society teaches women that their pleasure is only important in the context of giving pleasure to a male partner, and this is simply not true. Self-pleasure is one of the most powerful and radical things a woman can do in this world, “says Rena McDaniel, M.Ed., a clinical sexologist in Chicago.